Casey’s Coffee will, from now on, be my incubator, especially on Fridays. And weekends I guess. Depends on how crowded it is.
I will only come here to work on my ideas though, not study because it’s not the place for studying.
UGHH shld I work here though?????? It has no value for my future career but I love love love cafes! And it’s easy. And I love greeting people. And cash registers! >.<
[I have been here since 11am. It is almost 2:30pm]
At my internship this past summer, I asked my coworkers this questions: How do you keep from burning out at work?
One of the managers told me this:
"if you’re doing something you’re passionate about, you will never burn out."
This sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s so much easier than done. I thought it was going to be a while since I will get to enjoy that luxury to find and enjoy my passion and not burn out.
I consider it my goal to find my passion in life, because I believe that’s how you stay happy - to do what you love day in, and day out. And being happy is my ultimate goal in life - not money, power, status, or fame. I’m not saying I don’t want these things. I’m saying I don’t want them to be the ONLY things in my life. These should only be tools/supplements for me to pay it forward, give back, and help other people so I can be successful in achieving happiness.
Anyway, I think I’m well on my way to doing something I really love to do. I am still in phase 0-1 for this idea/concept, but I believe that if I stick with it, put in a little work at a time, I will get there. I don’t know how I’m going to make a career out of this yet, [so this will probs be my side job for a temp pd of time while I get a real paying job/build my connections] but all I know is I want to make this happen. FORREAL FORREAL.
"if you’re doing something you’re passionate about, you will never burn out."
Turns out, my manager was right.
My brain is tired, but my heart and my soul isn’t. Passion is something that lives forever, and if this is how my life is going to be like from now on, I will gladly accept it.
I randomly woke up an hour ago.
Fact: I have eaten HORRIBLY this week
HORRIBLY as in: eating WAY late, eating WAY too much (even after my body’s like, ok you’re full now stop.
causes include: stress (from all the work I didn’t do over the weekend, strangely lonely, strangely emotional, strangely annoyed at everything [like noises bother me, the fact that i’m a gbig bothers me, ppl asking for help bothers me] feeling so disconnected from SK cuz I can’t go to anything cuz I have that damn 3 hr class every Thursday, feeling so bad retreat and reveal are the same day)
Retreat is not going to be easy. It never was. I can’t leave things to do after I get back because I WONT HAVE TIME like literally wont have time even if I pull an all-nighter which WILL NOT HAPPEN because HELLO exam on Monday need to be awake
omfg I haven’t studied x.x
THIS DAMN ESSAY I SWEAR. The first step is “define your concept” and I’m not even close to doing that..
ok time to nap.
[er so part of my assignment for my social entrepreneurship class is to begin a daily gratitude journal but I only did it for like a day and just forgot about it..so now I’m trying to salvage all the lost times so here goes]
1. The Senior Manager that interviewed me accepted my LinkedIn request! And not only that, but he accepted within MINUTES! Like not even an hour!! This is a good sign..RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?? (plz let it be a good sign this is like all i ever want in life PLZZZZZZ)
2. Found a backup plan for study abroad - LeaderShape! [if both things fall through I’m just gonna enjoy the crap out of my winter break & work on my life plans]
3. My little is the most wonderful - she was understanding of my conflict with retreat and reveal, and told me to go on my retreat. Very very #blessed
Decided to “end it” with person because he obviously doesn’t care enough. Well more like he doesn’t care period. & it’s not even like I expect anything from him. I don’t want to go out with him I don’t want anything. But it’s just really hard for me to hang out with him & not want him to do more when he obviously can’t.
He told me to not care too much, but I don’t think he understands that being a caring person is what my whole life is grounded on. Being caring has led me to become passionate which has led me to so many wonderful opportunities in life. And if caring too much means I will be forever alone, then I guess that’s the sacrifice I have to make.
I have officially put him in my professional acquaintance category, so from now on, I will be nothing but professional with him. I will be nice & charming, but not cute or flirty. I probs will not hang out with him again in the future because he doesn’t make an effort to anyway which is fine. It was just one night with tequila that spilled over to the weekend, which is just another reason I don’t want to drink so much anymore.
I will say that I am proud of myself for being able to stop the toxin before it spreads and becomes worse. This turning a new leaf program continues to go strong woooh~
Now I have finally gotten rid of that stressful emotional thing, my mind feels so much clearer and I feel like I can focus on school again and look for new career opportunities.
Can’t wait to go home this weekend and spend time with family! They’re what’s important at the end of the day
- 15.5/15 (extra credit) on my programming quiz. Waddup
- strawberry shortcake
- seeing best fran after not seeing her Monday
- finally finally finally submitted study abroad app
- realizing I have a logical brain after thinking I have all the creative mind in the world this whole time
- 87 on a bs essay
- that friking monsoon
- difficult team members; difficulty motivating ppl; difficulty getting ideas across
- ambiguous situation with person
- mind is constantly partly occupied by person. Smh
NEVER EVER EVER do something because someone else wants you to
DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF.
[if I stayed in on Saturday and didn’t hang out with person I would have had time to finish the case this past WEEKEND and not be staying up till like 2:30am finishing it up and worrying about my quiz at 9:30am tmrw]
consider this a lesson friking learned.
Possibly one of the busiest weeks ever, but I never dreaded any bit of it.
Monday made me feel blessed and passionate and excited for the future.
Tuesday made me love life all over again.
Wednesday I had to deal with the repercussions of loving life a little too much.
Thursday made me want to give up.
But now that I’m done with everything (for now) it’s all just neutral. I have exacerbated every ounce of my energy into this week, and it is still not close to being over but well deal with that later cuz I’m about to collapse.
The least you can do is everything, so do it all.Shane Koyczan
Apparently this turning a new leaf program doesn’t apply to guys CUZ I AM STILL AWKWARD AF smh
Update I es over it.
I’m honestly really stressed about my classes, especially since I was sucha mess last year but also like DAMN these junior classes are INTENSE I’m already feeling the pressure ugh. I need yoga.
Reminder: it’s the amount of focus, not the time spent or the time of day!!
Tbh I have yet to add him in my contacts because I have yet to decide if he is worthy to be in my heart slash life
I also love how I am just so openly blogging about this
Grade A quality human texted!
Not gonna analyze what this means but I can confidently say that I always respond in a way that’s not myself 😔
Is this a sign/red flag 🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨
Because why not.
Ok I would like to thank grade A quality person for giving me hope that there are still decent college guys out there who are driven & passionate about their dreams and work hard to better themselves everyday in every way.
Ugh omg I literally lost my train of thought cuz he snapchatted me and not only that but he PERSONALLY snapchatted me omg who even does that anymore like help what do I do how do I feeel?!?,!:&2&
Okok no back to my totally objective human-to-human appreciation post…
Yes. Thank you for being hope & reviving me optimism that yes, quality guys DO exist and they ARE out there! Thank you for reminding me that I really don’t have to “stop being so picky”
OK FUUUUK I TOTALLY SENT THE WRONG EMOJI AMD THEN I SENT HIM THIS LONG EXPLANATION AND NOW HES NOT RESPONDING CUZ HE PROBS THINKS IM JUST SUPER WEIRD NOW OMG I RUINED EVERYTHING 😭😭😭😭😭😭
…I guess it’s time to go back to my old lady days & not feeling young again no more
dammit. It was nice while it lasted 😔